… if you do, you start missing everybody

pubblicato da Giulia sabato, Gennaio 7, 2006 10:38
Aggiunto alla categoria Sono fatti miei

It’s just that I miss so many people. Maybe I never should’ve installed Google Earth, because it was inevitable that I’d end up trying to locate the old flat block in Luton where I used to live. That was ten years ago, and I’ve realized that I don’t remember the name of the street. And I don’t miss the place, I don’t miss that time, I fucking nearly killed myself there, but maybe I miss what I missed because of the depression that hit me. I could’ve been happy, I could’ve enjoyed it. I didn’t. And ten years on, I still miss everybody and I want to say I’m sorry. Paul, Atiya, Sue, Sean, Anu, Helen, Denise, Janet, I am, I am sorry. And I wish I could see you only once again and hug you all and know you’re doing fine and living somewhere I could locate on a map, and wonder where you were when the picture was taken.

And then I just tell the thing to fly to Richmond and wonder if Anto’s all right, if she recovered from her illness, and I still want to say I’m sorry for falling out with her, and I still miss her and wonder what she’s doing. And Paola, is she in England, in Gibraltar, or where else? I was foolish to think I could never lose track of my friends, that we would always be together, always just a couple of calls away. You do lose track of people. You do lose track of them and wish you could be with them again, just to say hello. And bloody Google Earth – find the link for yourselves – is diesel power for extreme nostalgia. Flying over the world, and plunging into places, seeing the streets and realizing you have no idea where everyone is. And that makes you feel so lonely, and a little dead. For the past is something you’ve lost and cannot ever recover. Something inside that will never change and grow.

It’s just that I miss so many people, is all.

Commenti e ping chiusi.

16 commenti to “… if you do, you start missing everybody”

  1. Giulia says:

    Gennaio 7th, 2006 at 10:40

    In caso ve lo steste domandando, la lingua del post ha un suo perché.

    Mi dispiace per i non-anglofoni, è venuta così e così resta.

  2. Yoda says:

    Gennaio 7th, 2006 at 11:24

    GIOVANE HOLDEN! io qualche giorno fa ho usato la frase che apre il capitolo che si chiude con quella che hai usato tu 🙂

  3. Giulia says:

    Gennaio 7th, 2006 at 11:29

    Ultimamente mi torna su spesso: forse attraverso una fase regressiva 🙂

  4. kitty says:

    Gennaio 7th, 2006 at 12:54

    mamma mia,l’inglese:barriera insormontabile!!!!

  5. vale says:

    Gennaio 7th, 2006 at 1:07

    erasmus, studiare a una scuola per interpreti, viaggiare… pensi di aprirti la mente, e non ti accorgi che ti si apre anche il cuore, che c’è tutto un mondo di persone pronte a prendersi un pezzetto del tuo cuore, e non c’è mail o telefonata che tenga, perchè è il contatto fisico che manca… (e magari sarebbe meglio che smettessi di ascoltare musica indie e mi comprassi tutti i vari hit mania dance, per i veri momenti di crisi)

  6. stone says:

    Gennaio 7th, 2006 at 2:31


  7. fabiano says:

    Gennaio 7th, 2006 at 2:52

    Google ‘ heart ‘, we can say.
    So.. I think I understood.. what U want to say.

    After this summer – four friends (me, l. c. & e.) from san francisco to los angeles with a car – after the many things seen around the world, better.. in there world, once at home I downloaded the ‘Google earth’ and I looked for every places that I saw.

    And it was strange, very strange (one ‘place’ for all) find the pink elephant near the las vegas motel, where we stayed only two night.

    Seing that.. from up, as if I was a little eye from the sky, I felt me a little be ‘lonely’ and melancholyc.

    And if one place can feel me in that way, I can imagine what happens with people.. with ‘your’ Paul, Atiya, Sue, Sean, Anu, Helen, Denise and Janet.

    Mmmh.. idea! I’ll go find my Dublin’s place and I look for me and my german, spanish, sweden friends.

    See U.

  8. Pippo Baudo says:

    Gennaio 7th, 2006 at 3:54

    il tuo boyfriend c’ha un giro di donne a bologna e mi dice di non dirtelo

  9. Giulia says:

    Gennaio 7th, 2006 at 5:31

    Di’ al mio boyfriend che gli estraggo le rotule e le uso come orecchini 😀

  10. Molly says:

    Gennaio 7th, 2006 at 6:37

    At least you have somebody to miss.

  11. Giulia says:

    Gennaio 7th, 2006 at 6:38

    Who doesn’t? 🙂

  12. Molly says:

    Gennaio 7th, 2006 at 8:58

    I mean, people you’ve met travelling…

  13. Mariagrazia says:

    Gennaio 9th, 2006 at 9:42

    If you really want to know.. Anto is still living in Richmond! She is fully recovered, married with Harrie and happy. I don’t know why you do not talk to each other anymore but I think you should try to contact her.. she won’t shut the door!

  14. Giulia says:

    Gennaio 9th, 2006 at 9:56

    Mari, have you got an e-mail address?
    That Anto’s married to Harrie is probably the best news I’ve had in ages 🙂

  15. Luci says:

    Gennaio 9th, 2006 at 10:44

    Fase regressiva? No, fase saudade… tipico di inizio anno, momento di alta solitudine e consuntività…

  16. Anto says:

    Gennaio 9th, 2006 at 1:20

    Giulia! Ti ho appena scritto un email — lo hai ricevuto? Ti scrivo dalla mia ‘torretta’ qui a Richmond che, a parte un bagno nuovo ed il riscaldamento centralizzato, non e’ cambiata affatto. E non sono piu’ malata (ovvero sono ‘in remission’ — che parola cazzuta)! Hurray! Harrie e’ ingrassato di 10 chili e si e’ rasato la testa (Grade 1 side and back…). Siccome e’ bellissimo me lo sono sposato nel 2004. Tra qualche mese andremo a Trieste for a trip down memory lane, dopo 12 anni! Cazzarola…..